Confused...I think?

Do you turn left or right? Keep looking behind or try to go on w/ the future? Never trust anyone else? Why should I   always have to be on pins and needles just to keep me safe? I will though... if thats what it takes! Why should I have to be awake at what seems like all times just because I have the same crap on my mind as always? Why can't people and things just go away? Why do I always hear what I don't want to at the wrong time by the wrong person about the wrong person? Why can't everything just be in perfect order like it used to be? Why did karma kick my butt when I did nothing wrong? I understand everyone has to go through some things life, but GEEZ!! Enough is enough!! The confusion and fake smiles/happiness is really getting old. Why will someone straight up lie to your face and continue to try to lie after you busted them? Why should I even give a crap anymore? Left or right? Straight ahead or turn around running? I know what I want..... Bet noone else does though! Why is my *heart*crushed over the smallest things? How can someone have that power? Why would I let them? Why did I end up in the situation in the first place? Why won't it just get better? I really don't believe in the silver lining anymore! It will play out. It has to cause everthing happens for a reason....sometimes, most of the time I don't know that reason, but It is all part of the bigger plan that I have no control over. I wish I did but hell I'm only one girl....I may think at times I'm huge and bullet proof but I'm not. I'm just a girl, a very confused girl. Confused about it all!! It all sums w/ *WHY*????????